Mass-Hopper / Search for a Church

I recently saw the term "Mass Hopper" over at The Cafeteria is Closed, and had an "Ah-hah!" moment.  Maybe it's OK to hop from church to church, a la Goldilocks, looking for the Church that's not too modern, not too old-fashioned, the Church that is just right.  I was a lapsed Catholic, and I started to go back to church (almost) every Sunday about three years ago.  Unfortunately, the two churches in my hometown west of Boston have left me completely uninspired.  Good pastors, but the Mass was distracting and flat. Going to Mass was depressing me!  Not a spiritually energizing experience.  My issues with the two churches in my town:

• Bland 70's architecture, bland interiors, no statues, no stained glass, no votive candles, nothing beautiful inside or out, no sense of a sacred space.
• Astonishingly banal music, the songs at church were syrupy and droning, more like hippie folks songs or Barney tunes.  The Catholic Church arguably has the most magnificent musical heritage of any religion.  Why are we forced to sing this OCP dreck?
• No dress code of any sort, altar girl and boys are in T-shirts, Extraordinary Ministers are also in extremely casual clothes (one older woman had her cleavage showing - yuck!) , many young women and their moms in skimpy clothing.  Guess I'm old school, but there's a time and a place, and church is a place to dress more respectfully.
• Extraordinary Ministers are commonplace, not Extraordinary.  At both churches, the EMs went through elaborate greeting before communion, shaking hands and hugging each other.  Yeeks! We don't need to see the self-congratulations. It's like Dodge'ems in the communion line, having to split up between the one priest and two EMs, then get back in line to return to your pew.  Why does one poorly attended church need one priest and 8 EMs?
• On more than one occasion, the priest apologized in the homily for the "sexist" text in the readings (specifically, the reading about the good wife who weaves linens, takes care of her family, etc.).  Are we so feeble-minded that we can't take the good intent from a reading that is several thousand years old, when women indeed did have to weave their linens?  When did we get so sensitive and soft?
• The Masses resembled community theatrical productions more than a worship service.  For some reason, the cantor and readers are seated on the opposite side of the lectern, so they have to cross over, bow in front of the altar (meaning that their butt is sticking out to the people in pews), sing or read, and then cross back to their seats.  Why on earth is there all this walking back and forth? Put them in a chair behind the lectern!  It's so distracting!
• The pianist and choral group are up at the front of the church, to the right of the altar.  So we get to see all the communication between the director and the singers, and who's fidgeting, and who's fumbling for stuff in his pockets.  Placing the singers in the front of the church (instead of up in the balcony) means that the music is no longer a backdrop to the liturgy, and it's part of the production. 

Maybe it's me. Maybe I have an undisciplined monkey-mind!  But I doubt I'm alone in my bewilderment. 

OK, enough kvetching for now.  I'm not looking for the Latin Mass, but I'd like a Mass which transcends the secular, day-to-day experience.  I'm looking for a worship service that is conducive to prayer and reflection. I'm looking for "bells and smells," the traditions and sensory experiences that transport one to a contemplative, spiritual place.  I'm looking to be part of church community which respects the Mass.  So, I've decided to become a Mass-Hopper in Lowell, a nearby city which is home to over a dozen Catholic churches, some large cathedrals, others intimate chapels.  Apparently, it's OK to do this, we are no longer bound to attend only the church in our neighborhood or parish.  Stay tuned, I'll let you know if I find the Church that is just right. 

P.S. More excellent comments on this issue here and here.

Comments

[Sissy Willis]

I totally agree, although I strongly favor the mystery and magic of the Latin Mass. 'Have written on the subject of spiritual placemaking myself from time to time:

"Like trying to plant cut flowers"
http://sisu.typepad.com/sisu/2005/04/who_is_michael_.html

"We have found the enemies of art to be fanatics"
http://sisu.typepad.com/sisu/2006/03/the_youth_defen.html

[ward]

I went through the same thing you describe a few years ago. I remember feeling kind of guilty about the fact that I was always hopping and couldn't be satisfied. Until that one day, when I opened the huge front doors of Immaculate Conception in Jacksonville, Fl. I walked in and knew at once I was finished looking. It's not like it's something fancy- just a couple of good priests offering the mass and the other sacraments, without any of the 'entertainment' value. We drive about 45 miles each way, but I can tell you that I'd drive twice as far. I hope you find a good, holy parish soon. And I'll offer a prayer for you.
I guess you've tried the yellowpages-- If a parish has a lot of confession time and adoration scheduled, it's a good bet I'd like it.

[Miss Kelly]

Thanks, Ward, your prayers are appreciated here! For a long time, I convinced my self to stay at the churches in my town. That's where I lived, I should try to work within them, maybe they needed me (hah! not!). One church has very low attendance, the other one actually packs in good crowds every week. But I couldn't stand it! I've heard nothing but encouragement to find a church that fits. Off I go!

[mary martha]

For a variety of reasons I refuse to attend my geographic Parish, and after years of only attending the chapel at the local Catholic hospital I realized it was time to actually find a parish.

I went Parish shopping for about 6 months. After that time I realized that unlike Goldilocks I am not going to find a Parish that is 'just right'. In the end I have compromised.

I attend two Parishes... one very traditional with Tridentine Latin Mass and generally fabulous liturgical environment. The second parish is closer to home, is strictly Novus Ordo but offers a better community atmosphere for me (even if liturgy sometimes makes me very upset). Sometimes I feel a bit torn between the two of them... but it's the best solution I can come up with.

Good luck in your search!

[RC]

Depending on your location, you might consider St. Patrick's in Nashua, NH, too.

[Marie]

You might want to consider this from Redemptionis Sacramentum:

"6. Complaints Regarding Abuses in Liturgical Matters

[183.] In an altogether particular manner, let everyone do all that is in their power to ensure that the Most Holy Sacrament of the Eucharist will be protected from any and every irreverence or distortion and that all abuses be thoroughly corrected. This is a most serious duty incumbent upon each and every one, and all are bound to carry it out without any favouritism.

[184.] Any Catholic, whether Priest or Deacon or lay member of Christ’s faithful, has the right to lodge a complaint regarding a liturgical abuse to the diocesan Bishop or the competent Ordinary equivalent to him in law, or to the Apostolic See on account of the primacy of the Roman Pontiff.[290] It is fitting, however, insofar as possible, that the report or complaint be submitted first to the diocesan Bishop. This is naturally to be done in truth and charity."

[tony c]

I know your frustration. Many of us end up in Byzantine Catholic parishes, but I don't necessarily recommend that route. In other words, the decision should not be taken lightly. Plus, I don't think there are any Byz Cath churches to visit in the Lowell area, just Eastern Orthodox.

[RC]

There are two Eastern Catholic parishes in Lawrence: St. Joseph Melkite Church and St. Anthony Maronite Church, and St. Basil (Melkite) Seminary in Methuen.

[Thomas Shawn]

Been there. Done that. The prayers for "Diversity" during the collect during the weekend before a big gay marriage vote really sent me over the edge. That, and the head of the CCD handing out gay marriage flyers inside the vestibule after Mass ... sent me immediately to the Tridentine Mass.

[Miss Kelly]

Yeeks, my churches weren't THAT bad!