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June 12, 2006

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» In love with the most wonderful person: Me! from Bettnet.com Musings of Domenico Bettinelli
Fresh off its look at big families as a weird new lifestyle, the Boston Globe Magazine now extols the virtues of remaining singleeven single parenthood! For the Narcissus Generation, this is just what the doctor ordered. After all, why sho... [Read More]

Comments

Sissy Willis

Congratulations on getting your Site Meter up and running, just in time for an Anchoressalanche!

Michael Prescott

"I bet that each and every one of those allegedly deliriously happy single people would rather NOT be single."

I prefer being single. Probably I'm in the minority. But it's a mistake to assume that one's personal preferences are shared by everyone else. People are very different; one size doesn't fit all.

As for married people living longer - no doubt they do, but I know a few who *wish* they were dead! :-)

miss kelly

OK, Michael, I do believe you, and of course not everyone thinks like me (phew!). I could have said "most of these" folks. I stand corrected.

Rebecca

Happier Single? Absolutely. I'm more miserable married than I ever was single. Lonely? Nope. I had tons of friends when I was single that I now never see. I'm much more lonely married. The freedom I had in singledom ie. financially, traveling and career prospects came to a grinding halt once married. My husband is a lump on a log. He put on a show while we were dating and is the typical fat, drooling, sports addicted male who goes to church on Sunday for show. After 2 years of "christian" marriage counseling no no avail, I've called it quits...and he's surprised. Now all of a sudden he's "interested" in working it out. No thanks. I was happier and healthier as a single woman and will soon be again. I will never marry, kids are overrated according to all my married friends - especially those whose husbands dump the entire responsibility of child rearing on them.

You say that single women who want children do so for selfish reasons? Well so do married people, honey. Wake up. It's always selfish to bring a life into this world. If people want to stay single - why should you care? Live and let live. If you want to be married - why should single people care? They don't lady. They don't care if you get married - they really don't.

nan

Rebecca - I'm interested in your statement - "It's always selfish to bring a life into this world." Could you expand on it please?

miss kelly

Wow, strong opinions here. Rebecca, I'm not in your shoes, and obviously don't know why your life "came to a grinding halt" after getting married. That's not what anyone would want from marriage. But I stand by by my original critique of the article: being single is generally not as glamorous as the article made it sound, it can be quite lonely, especially as one gets older. It's not a healthy state for individuals or for society. Something is very messed up in our culture that people are increasingly unable to enter into and sustain comitted relationships. And same for not having kids, who are the future, and who awill be the stewards of our future too. Not a good sign.

Regarding your friends who think "kids are overrated," that's not the experience of my siblings or my friends with children. They really enjoy their kids a lot. I've watched many of the kids grow into pretty cool adults.

jerry

Sad people are miserable. Happy people are not. Being married has naught to do with happiness or melancholy. Succesful happy people find mates; wise ones find happy, wise mates. All this is right out the window when you remember everyone changes everyday and no one is exactly the same person they were yesterday. And none of that matters too much if you believe God never changes.

Rebecca

"Nan" would like me to explain my "it's always selfish to bring children into the world" whether you're single or married. Well here goes: Married or otherwise, the ONLY reason people have children is because they themselves WANT them or feel that their own lives are incomplete without them. Those are purely selfish reasons. No one asks to be born. No one. No one asks to be born in poverty, no one asks to be born dying, no one asks to be born to parents who can't afford to send them to college. Nor does anyone ask to be born to anyone rich. Children are either conceived by "accident" or by selfishness. That is a truth that can't be denied by anyone. In fact, most everything we do in this world is for selfish reasons.

nan

Rebecca - I'm being perfectly honest here. I had children because my husband is such a wonderful person that I felt he needed to be reproduced in this world - to make it a better world. I have thought about it, and I don't think that's a selfish thing - I think it's a giving thing.

nate

Nan missed the point. What if the baby grows up to be unsatisfied (as we all are), but perhaps to even a very extreme level? Nan put her own interests/beliefs/feelings above all else when she decided to have a kid "to make the world a better place." Wishful thinking, perhaps a bit unrealistic and self-important, but well-intentioned nonetheless... however, it's still a selfish act. Not a "giving" thing, really. All you did was 'give' life to something which will exist temporarily in a world of dissatisfaction and suffering, which will eventually die, anyway.

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